Common sense says that it is easier for two people who know each other well to live together peacefully. Common sense says we should simply help each other and be civil but is it that simple? If so, why do parents and children constantly fight? Why do couples misunderstand each other so quickly? Why do we not tolerate elders?
Revealing where it all begins, Sri Preetaji, spiritual leader, co-creator of Ekam and co-author of The Four Sacred Secrets, shares, “Every human being is a wounded person. We are hurt and hurt by our parents, school and society. Each of us may have had many bitter experiences in the past. You were hurt when you loved someone in the past, be it a trusted friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, sibling or parent, and were disappointed by that person. Even if you’ve moved on clinically, the trauma remains in your consciousness internally. “You are like Tenali Rama’s cat because your tongue got burnt while drinking milk earlier,” he said.
Saying that it will be very difficult to trust and be safe, you will be more careful and trusting. According to Sri Preetaji, you still want people in your life, not because you love them, but because you fear loneliness. He said, “It’s like a constant game – you be in my life but keep your distance. You be with me, but don’t get too close. We fear that our anger might hurt and injure others. We fear our loneliness and we are disappointed with our partners. We, humans, run away from each other. ; we are also running from ourselves. Some wounds are inexplicable. They flow from past lives too. And you can develop a deep dislike for someone for any reason. You too must be free of such dislike. Otherwise, it will continue to haunt you.”
Suggesting tips to start our journey towards healing ourselves and healing others, Sri Preetaji advised, “The only way is compassion – to be able to feel yourself and to feel others. As you are wounded, you can empathize with each other only when you realize that the other has been wounded in life. No one is exempt from these wounds. This If the initial seed of empathy can take root within you, you will engage in loving dialogue. You will listen to the other person to feel their pain, not to prove your goodness, not to prove to them that you are right.
He recommended, “If you open your heart and listen to someone who is hurting, listening with so much love can heal them. When your partner or child goes into an angry outburst in the middle of your conversation, they are not asking for answers or solutions. What they are looking for is an experience of connection and empathy. They want you to listen; They want you to experience them. Something magical happens when you listen to someone with compassion. You will be healed, and so will they. Try it and see. “